My loneliness is too much to bear. You didn't owe me anything... but is this how you reward the faithful? By leaving them desolate and uncared for? By making their ministry a mockery and their faithfulness a reason for others to stray? You are not evil. I have always believed this...but are you good? My conscience answers that question for me. So why would you leave me alone for years...for a decade as I watch others go on to live the life that I prayed for. I beg you, God. BE FAITHFUL TO ME! You bottle my tears? You are near to those of a broken heart? You work all things together for our good? How can I believe these things when all I see is abandonment of the faithful.
Yeah. It makes me sad too. I was nearing the point where my faith was not just stretched but at the point of tearing. I wanted so desperately to move on with one of my heart's most guarded and tender desires- to be loved and eventually married.
I think sometimes that God knows the exact point at which we will break and I was nearing mine. Little did I know that right around the corner was:
And that meeting him would redeem every moment of waiting and every question I had about God's love for me and His wisdom in making me wait.
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